Certified Sex Coach

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Own Your Pleasure

My darling reader:

I’m so happy you’re here! This is very much a personal journey for me and it thrills me to be able to share it with you. This work, this knowledge, this POWER has cracked me open - I walk through the world differently than I used to.

And my hope for you is that you learn a bit about how to overcome shame, guilt, trauma and negative body image. That you take away at least one practical tip and put it into practice! And that by so doing, you embrace yourself, your body, your pleasure. And are able to see and believe in your own beauty, living your best sexual life - Lit Up, so that one by one, body by body, we heal ourselves and the world. 

How do I Own My Pleasure, and how might you too, my dear reader, radically love yourself and feel whole?  

Step 1: Unstick the Velcro! Clear and replace negative talk. If you wouldn’t talk to your best friend that way, don’t talk to yourself that way. Know that it’s not your voice. Consider getting curious about whose voice it is! Experts say that for each 1 neg message we need 5 positive ones to counterbalance or outweigh the negative. Say nice things to yourself, often and regularly. Consider creating a mantra and rubbing it into yourself, for example "I love my belly because it makes me curvy and soft", or "My body is strong", or "I know what I want & I speak my truth". Say your mantra while rubbing lotion onto your body, or while self pleasuring. 

Step 2: Be grateful for what your body lets you do. Think about all the amazing things our bodies do for us… I’m grateful for my elbows bending and allowing me to lift a cup of coffee to my lips. Or, this is the body of an athlete! Say this out loud, daily, at least once. Make it a practice. Practice isn’t perfect. 

Step 3: Move! Move your body! Movement allows sadness, grief, trauma and all our other feelings to move through the body. We can use movement and pleasure to replace a negative feedback loop with a positive one. So Shake it off. Hit your pillow. Scream. Swamp! Dance! Breathe! Open the body. Allow yourself to feel. This makes room for pleasure. 

Step 4: Feed yourself a diet of pleasure. Notice and savor some embodied pleasure each day. Who gives you permission to feel pleasure? Only you! Start where you are. Today. Now. Ask yourself, what would feel good in my body right now? Do it, or simply imagine doing it. Mmm, the warmth of the sun on my face would feel delightful right now. I can imagine that and feel it. 

Step 5: Authenticity & Love. Be who you are. Most of us have not received unconditional love simply for the mere wonder of our existence. We may have received love and acceptance based on meeting requirements - to be someone or to become someone. You are worthy as you are, you don’t need to become anything. You are the unique expression of the divine. Encourage yourself to take little steps out of your comfort zone as this will strengthen the muscle of reclaiming your authenticity. Do things that feel uncomfortable. Remember that you grow when you are out of your comfort zone. Are you, like me, afraid to sing in public or off-key? Hum or sing one line to a loving friend or someone who cares about you. Take a small baby-step, and another; you will experience an immense breakthrough!


Wishing you much embodied pleasure, XOXO, 
Amy