Bodysex: Tuning In To Freedom
While setting up for this November’s Bodysex Retreat in Portland, OR, I was about to hang the usual red scarf over the large glass opening of my front door, when inspiration struck. Bodysex is like this. A gentle tuning in to our bodies and our intuition sometimes leaves us breathless with sudden knowing. I hung large post-it-note-like paper over the glass instead. Then, as my oh-so-generous and talented stunt cunt, Rose, and I pondered what messages to write on the paper - we considered affirmations like “I am Amazing” “I am Beautiful” and “Embrace Yourself”, Rose offered a tarot reading for clarity. The card I selected reflected female wisdom, and I was immediately inspired to write “Why Are You Here?”. This turned the little entryway from a quick stop at which one could choose to shed clothing, into a community art project. It became the start of the tuning in that would carry us into the weekend and back to our bodies and ourselves.
Throughout Bodysex women responded to this question. The first intention to appear was, “To embrace myself”. This was quickly followed with “To be free.” And before the end, the list included: To release trauma, to be patient, to accept myself, to share my orgasm, to feel sisterhood, to follow my pleasure, to learn from my goddess sisters, to release body shame, to feel complete, to be courageous. I feel yes and yes to all of it!
As we sunk in to the magic that is Bodysex, I kept feeling “this is my favorite part”, no actually “this is my favorite part”, no this… until I realized that part of the magic is how the day’s activities build upon each other, like a song - note by note. Without each note, the song wouldn’t be Bodysex. The weaving of stories and the melody, recognizing ourselves in each other, lifting each sister up by sharing our own vulnerability, slowly shedding bras and scarves until each of us sat unmasked and unencumbered by the weight of our own stories. And buoyed by each other, the load lightened by the sharing.
Genital show and tell - another of my favorite parts, left all us Bodysex goddesses reeling with the truth and wisdom one of us shared, “When I honor and listen to my pussy, I honor and listen to myself.” The range of ages in this circle was 40-60+. While my last Bodysex had an average age of 30, so it varies widely. I mention this because sometimes women express concern about being the oldest one in our circle and about how that might feel. We’re never too old to embrace ourselves and the pleasure that is our birthright, so we are never too old for Bodysex. We learn from each other.
And so it was when we felt into how we, and our bodies are constantly evolving. Several of us talked about our mothers, and with a self-portrait of Betty herself hanging in our sacred space, there was a feeling of reaching back and honoring the past, listening to the collective wisdom of our female ancestors, forgiving those who couldn’t overcome whatever circumstances conscribed them, thanking those who could, feeling compassion for our past selves and hope for our future selves, all while landing squarely in the present. Considering how sexuality and female wisdom had been revered, in the beginning, when women were recognized as the givers of life itself, then subjugated and reviled resulting in us tuning out and armoring up; how sweet it felt to rest in the safety of this sacred circle with my sisters. Armor-less, warmly seen and held.
Erotic recess began softly as we danced and swayed. Vibrators in hand we faced each other. We played and allowed ourselves to wake up to embodied pleasure - retiring to our own nests, breathing and circulating energy in our bodies and in the room. We turned ourselves on slowly, tuning in to what our bodies wanted - not trying to get somewhere. Orgasm isn’t the goal, self-pleasure is. As we listened and followed, we were carried higher and higher by the notes of self-pleasure we sung out. Some of us orgasmed, some of us didn’t, but each of us experienced the magic of Bodysex - powerful and healing.
I recognized my own mother’s power and failings, I grieved for her and for myself, then I sunk into full acceptance - actively taking pleasure in my body, with it’s goddess belly and imperfect perfection. Feeling like a pleasure priestess and a warrior woman. Grateful for the song of each woman in the circle with me. In humble appreciation and with much love for the trust and connection, thank you to Pearl, Pussy Galore, Venus, Va-Va and Tiger Pussy. Here’s to freedom!
