How To Rock With A Soft Cock - For Men and Those Who Love Them!
Frustrating.
It can be frustrating when things don’t work the way we want. Whether it’s the wifi connection so we can watch a movie on Netflix, or the car window not rolling up when we hit the power button, whether it’s the kids missing the school bus and making us late for work, or a partner using all the hot water in the shower leaving us with only cold. And it can be especially frustrating when our body doesn’t work the way we, or our partner, expect.
Frustration, often followed by anger, sadness and disappointment.
Whether we’ve been having sex for a year, five years or even for five decades, it’s perfectly normal to expect body parts will work the same way as they have. Unfortunately this just isn’t reality. With lifespans averaging 84 years young, the fact is that our bodies change over time. Add stress and illness to the normal aging process, and we have a recipe … not for disaster, but for change.
Research shows 40% of men in their 40s, and 80% of men in their 80s experience what our culture calls “erectile dysfunction” - ED. We can fight it, we can be frustrated, angry, sad and disappointed. Or we can choose to educate ourselves and rock what we’ve got.
We like to think of this not as “dysfunction” but as “erectile evolution” - EE. What to do instead of getting pissed off? Turning to porn? Withdrawing from relationship? Rock your body exactly as it is! Soft, medium or hard cock - you can experience pleasure. Lots of it. Mind-blowing, expansive waves, full bodied pleasure. And so can a partner.
The penis is not the axis of all sexuality. It’s one part, but not the whole body and therefore not the whole story. Despite what you’ve been told. How big you are or how hard you are does not affect your worthiness as a man or even as a lover. Female bodies - stop shaming your man and start tuning in to the most amazing sex of your life. Erectile evolution can change the world!
When unexpected change occurs in the body, it’s time to get curious. First, is there an underlying physiolgoical problem that can be solved. Heart disease, for example. When’s the last time you had a cardio check up? Medications often have unwanted sexual side effects. Perhaps the anti-depressant you’re on is adversely affecting your sex life. Your Dr won’t know this is a problem for you unless you speak up - and many receive very little training in sex education so do your own research as well. Some meds are better than others for avoiding negative sexual side effects. In most cases, barring heart disease or major medical challenges, the body is functioning exactly as it’s supposed to - it’s just that things have changed.
Male bodies aren’t the only ones changing with age and stress. Female bodies change too. All bodies do. We put on weight or lose weight. Our tissues become less lubricated. We get bored.
So rock what you’ve got. Not as soon as you are hard. Not “Hurry up, before I lose my erection!”, not as soon as I lose 10 lbs and fit into those pants, not when the kids move out of the house. Now. Rock it - you are perfect in your imperfection. An evolving, changing, growing human. Every one of us. Perfectly imperfect. Even you.
Getting curious about what works for your body now is also especially helpful. What new positions might be hot for you? What happens if I tune in to what I feel in my body when my cock is soft? Where is there pleasure for me? Take some time and experiement. Be a scuba diver and dive into the ocean of your own body. Look around. Where is there potential pleasure? Perhaps I’ve never tried lightly squeezing the inside of my own thigh, or applying pressure on the prostate, or dancing with myself in the kitchen when no one is watching…
Plesure is the new Frontier! Not orgasm. Not ejaculation. Which, by the way, occur separately. In male bodies, orgasm occurs just before ejaculation. So all bodies, men and women are multi-orgasmic. But that’s for another time. For now, just know that slowing down and following the tendrils of pleasure in your own body will allow you to expand the amount of pleasure you are capable of experiencing. Think of this as capacity. There’s short-term, quick hit - rocket up and explode as is common in our youth. Then there’s a long-term, slow building up and leveling off or even dipping down, then ratcheting up again (it’s not a hockey stick graph). It’s a more connecting and intimate sort of pleasure - with ourselves, that can be stretched out over time. Ejaculation is not the goal. Pleasure is.
So rock that soft cock if you’ve got one. And partners, if your partner has a soft cock - love on it! You don’t have to give up what you desire, just expand it. Enjoy the feel of softness, supplenss, adore and affirm. Remember that a cock isn’t the only way to be penetrated if that’s your thing. Add fingers, a tongue, toys when desired. Expand the way you play as you embrace erectile evolution and experience more pleasure and connection than you thought possible.
Penis owners and partners - you can experience meaningful, mind-blowing sex by rocking what you’ve got. For more on this, including our webinar on Ditching Soft Cock Shame & 7 Strategies to Save your Sex Life, go to www.SoftCockWeek.com and www.BuffaloWeissfeld.com.
Co-Authored by : Amy Weissfeld & Peace Buffalo
About Amy: I am deeply passionate about healing the world through pleasure, about truth in relating, about choice and voice, about empowerment and about joyful living. I focus on sex positivity and the importance of sensuality and masturbation in our lives.
Core belief: our body wants to turn towards health and wellness in the same way a plant wants to turn towards the sun. I help people find their sun. Because knowing yourself and your own body makes you happy and whole. It also makes for better community and a healthier planet.
About Peace: As a Relationship Depth coach, an old soul who comes alive with the laughter of children, the wind rippling through tall Birch trees, the neverending crash of white rushing waves at the bottom of a waterfall, and staccato breathing as lovers gently touch one another for their partners’ pleasure and their own... Peace travels the byways of the world seeking out other lifelong learners, ecstatic dancers, nature lovers, truth seekers, and open-minded spirits.
After extensive study ranging from Body Electric and Orgasmic Meditation to Tantra and Kundalini as well as membership in the National Coalition For Sexual Freedom, Peace is committed to closing the Orgasm Gap and destigmatizing STI’s in today’s complicated sexual landscape. On the one hand, he has fulfilled a quest he’d determined around puberty: how to blend spirituality and sexuality? On the other hand, he has yet to graduate from the School of Life. And on the other hand . . .
